Gwinnett County Fair

Gwinnett County Fair

Last week, KLynne asked if I’d ever been to a fair.  I told her that I hadn’t– I never went up to Salt Lake for the Utah State fair, and Utah County had no fair to speak of until a few years ago (well, not one that was publicized, anyway).  I just never figured that I’d enjoy one.

KLynne decided to change this, and on Saturday we went to the Gwinnett County Fair.  I went in expecting to see the dregs of society, and I was not disappointed.  What I didn’t expect were the sheer number of rides.  Easily as many as the old Steel Days Carnival in American Fork, which I have been to many a time.  Unfortunately, ticket costs were, to put it lightly, expensive.   When I commented that it was “just like the carnival”, KLynne gave me shit about me saying I’d never been to a fair.  I stand by my prior claim, because fairs have livestock and carnivals do not.  SO FRIGGIN’ THERE.

Five bucks to get in.  Each ride ticket cost a FRIGGIN’ DOLLAR… and each ride was at least four tickets.  Thanks to this, we ended up only going on three rides– two that KLynne liked and one that I wanted to go on (it was like Turn of the Century at Lagoon, for you Utah types).  Other highlights:

  • A fat girl was about to ride the mechanical bull.  Normally, this wouldn’t be news… I mean, plenty of fat people ride mechanical bulls. This particular riding ‘o the bull was memorable because the cruel, cruel DJ in charge of the music decided to play “Baby Got Back” as she sat astride the beast.
  • A person running a ride called “Rock and Roll” had a very, very annoying fake stutter.  Being stuck in the line next to that ride caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up and my fists to clench.
  • I was bound and determined to eat something terrible for me that was fried, preferably served on a stick.  I finally found something after we had been on a few rides, but it was not to be– a deep-fried Twinkie, Oreos, or Candy Bar would’ve made me hurl.  Just thought I’d share that with you.
  • There was an exhibit claiming to have the World’s Smallest Woman inside, but neither of us wanted to support exploitation like that.
  • We briefly went through the livestock exhibition.  Yay sheep.  Yay cows.  Boo the smell in there.
  • We also went into the display hall and saw more Confederate flags than I would’ve cared to see, including a booth run by the Sons of Confederate Veterans and one in the Republican Party booth.  I could make political commentary here, but I’m not gonna.
  • There was no one running the Democratic Party booth, but I noticed they were out of Obama lawn signs.
  • There was a scary revivalist preacher there, but I wouldn’t let KLynne make fun of him.
  • If we had an unlimited ride wristband, I would’ve challenged KLynne to race me through one of the little funhouses, knocking teenagers down in pursuit of an utterly meaningless goal.  Too bad we didn’t.  I was PRIMED to send some fourteen-year old sprawling on his ass for no reason other than my own enjoyment.
  • We got cotton candy.  Damn, I forgot how good cotton candy was.

The housework continues.  We now have TWO (Two!  Ah-ah-ah!) rooms clean and ready for picturetime, AND I finally found my camera battery charger so I can take the pictures.

I know, I’m a tease.

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